Wow, it has been close to 2 months since we last posted. I will try to get better at it...
I have seen a few people make November (the month of Thanksgiving) their month of thankfulness and want to join the bandwagon. I know for me, and probably a lot of people, we get so wrapped up in our situation and our circumstances, that we forget to slow down and reflect on what we are thankful for. So, each day this month, I am going to talk about something I am thankful for.
Since today is the 1st of November, I thought I would talk about what is first in my life that I am thankful for - Jesus. Now, to some that may just seem like the typical Christians' Sunday School answer, but it is true. I have struggled and cried and been depressed and He has helped me through it all!! I don't know where I would be without His constant love and strength to get me through it. Thank you Jesus for all you have done, all you are doing, and all you will do through me and the world!!
The 1st of November is also the start of National Adoption Month. (I knew I could tie this in). As a Christian, we know that God the Father has adopted us all into His family - another thing we should be thankful for! This Sunday - being the first Sunday of National Adoption Month - is Orphan Sunday. This is a time to look at the orphan situation around the world, around our country and around the block. Now not everyone is called to adopt, but as Christians, we are all called to care for the least of these (including orphans). So, if you don't feel the calling to adopt, you can still care for those down the street or across the earth. You can do this by supporting (emotionally or financially) another family who is adopting or has adopted. Most families have some sort of fundraiser as the cost of adopting is fairly high. If you need some ideas, just let me know, but here are two families close to use who are both adopting from the Congo. Pray about it, talk it over with loved ones, and think about supporting them.
The Kings
They are in the process of adopting a 2 year old boy (Jude). They have a t-shirt fundraiser (the link) or Jacki is sewing like crazy with cute things you can buy to also support them.
The Hallocks
They are in the process of adopting a 4-5 year old girl (Harper Judith). They also have a t-shirt fundraiser.
Watch this video. Share the video EVERYWHERE. Give $1 or 2. Help the Kings bring home their son Jude from the Congo through this website! Fundraiser ends this Sunday (9/9) at midnight.
Apparently, something I (Michelle) said or did made a lot of people think we have been matched and are very close to baby coming home. Despite how much I would love for that to be the case, it is not true. We have officially finished the application part and are currently an official "Waiting Family" with our agency! What that means is we are in the mix of adoptive families that the birth parents could choose - so technically we could be picked today or any day after. However, the likelihood of sometime soon is quite small at this point.
Despite the fact that we have been essentially waiting for about 18 months, this is the true waiting period. This time is filled with anxious feelings every time the phone rings and not much updates until "the call" is made. The key for the Waiting Family is to "wait well" - keep yourselves busy, get the nursery ready, etc... Luckily for us, we painted our nursery a nice neutral green before we even moved in! (Someone thinking ahead??) Here is the "360 degree" view of the room!
My lovely paintings that don't quite match but we have no other place for them, haha!
Window and quilt view.
This wall is where the crib will go.
More pictures to come as we also have bought a "cubby" for the room and soon to have the assembled crib!
Thank you all for the encouragement - they are truly a God send! Also, thank you to all our sponsors - we have passed the 20% point! :) Here is the current puzzle:
Feeling a little more prepared (and maybe less at the same time) now that my friend Shirin donated some baby stuff to our future one! The picture shows just some of what she donated as her precious boy is still using some things. (And all of it would have been too much to fit in my car!)
I am so amazed by friends who encourage us through this journey in so many different ways - random phone calls/emails, donations, cards, etc... It is a strange process that is long (most of the time just waiting with no news/excitement). Those waiting times can be tough, especially if it is longer than your "timetable".
I know God has picked out our precious one already and am so thankful He has that under control! I am also thankful for the little encouragements and friends He has put in my life to help this journey!
We got an email earlier this week about another thing they need in order for the homestudy to be complete & approved. (In other words, it is approved except for that). Got that squared away and sent in Friday. Then we received an email Friday evening that they need pictures of the outdoor play areas. (In other words, the front and back yard). Luckily, we have a nice front yard one as we included it in our profile book. However, the back yard will be a little more difficult. We don't have any saved except the ones previous owner put online. Good, right? Well, they had a trampoline which is not allowed for adoptive parents... So just take one now, right? That would be fine, except John is getting the fall garden ready, so things are in disarray right now. And our neighbor's fence blew down about 2 months ago, and they have yet to fix it... Such an easy little thing that is holding us back from being approved (already 2-4 weeks later than we were told).
I guess we better get used to this "hurry up and wait" issue, because I think that is what our lives will be like until kid comes home!
Please pray we can get a good enough picture of the backyard and finally be approved. What a great retirement gift that would be if God granted us that next week!
If you didn't see my facebook post about the adoption credit, please follow this link. As of right now, there are only 18 co-sponsors - none of which are from Texas. I know you are all pretty busy, but I ask you to take 5-10 minutes to call your Senators and Representatives and ask for their support. This would be a HUGE way to get involved with adoption even if you aren't called to adopt! Please join me in advocating for families in the adoption community!!
Hope you had a good week and thank you for your love and support!!
Haven't written a post in a while because we have both been busy! Summer school is 10 hours a day, so I am pooped by the time I come home. (Only 2 more to go!!)
We are still waiting on our homestudy to be approved. She (our caseworker) gave us a timeframe of 4-6 weeks and today marks week #7. We were told on Friday that the head honcho will be getting the study and reviewing. *Fingers crossed!*
Our profile book is printed and in our dining room and our expectant mother letter's rough draft is done. After Thursday, it should be 100% ready!!
A lady I met through RESOLVE (an infertility support group) posted this article on facebook and I really liked it! Hope you do too!
Hopefully you will be hearing from us shortly about our approved homestudy. Then we send in our profile book & letter and officially wait!! :)
God was really watching over us during our homestudy - no rain! Thank You Jesus! It was a sunny, dry day. :) Thank you to all those that prayed for sunshine.
The homestudy itself was not as bad as we thought. Our caseworker came in at lunchtime, so we took her to our favorite burger joint - Mooyah!
Lunch was followed by a 4-hour interrogation. We had to rack our brains on things like where we have lived in the past 10 years, the name and address of the hospital we were born as well as the nearest hospital (and how far away it is.) There were some very basic questions like physical description and occupation, to personal questions about our personalities and general outlook on life. Luckily she had a sense of humor, which made it seem less intrusive.
Next she toured the house to review the things on the health and safety precaution checklist. That part only took ~5 minutes, which was slightly disappointing after doing all that hard work. At least we didn't scrub the grout like last time (for the health inspector).
Now we wait another 4-6 weeks for our caseworker to finish the 20+ page report on us which will go to the board to be reviewed and (hopefully) approved. During that time, we will be writing our "Dear Expectant Mother" letter and printing our profile book. Once we are approved and have sent those in, we are officially a "Waiting Family"!!!
This Tuesday we have our home study. They say it is not as bad as you think, but of course I worry. We looked over some of the potential questions and have some good answers lined up.
We also spent the weekend getting the house ready for a guest - cleaning, mowing, picking up, etc. We need Monday and Tuesday to be sunny, or at least not heavy rain, days. I decided to go ahead and look at the forecast. This is what I see:
I know God has a plan, but I am praying for light rain, if any, those days. Our yard can not have standing water in it when she comes to do our home study, so the thunderstorms are a little scary right now.
So I am asking you to pray for:
* wisdom to say the right things and not always our first (usually sarcastic) response
* light or no rain Monday and Tuesday - or maybe the storm can just go around our neighborhood
Thank you to all of you who have been praying and supporting us! This is the last big step before we officially become "waiting"! I know that will have it's own adventures once we get there! We almost have our bio book completely done - here is a sneak peek!
We went to the Adoption: Myths & Realities last night and had a great time! Learned a lot about adoption and the Tapestry Ministry. I have been looking at their website all day (shhh, don't tell my boss) and came across this that I absolutely love:
From Romans 8 (The Message): “That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy. Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.”
God is good, all the time! All the time, God is good! :)
We heard back from our social worker and we have been cleared for a home study! The date is June 12th - that is exactly 3 weeks away. Luckily, we have most of the stuff done getting ready for those inspections. It is kind of nice having a small to-do list for once! :)
Home Study – June 12th
Food is stored appropriately – plastic wrap and foil are not used to seal food containers
Baby gates are used for stairways and fire place
An emergency kit - change of clothes
All medication is locked behind at least one lock, including refrigerated medication
We have been working on our bio book every night since Friday and it is coming along! We want to have it done at the home study to give to our social worker so she can take it back and start showing us to potential birthmoms! Most people think of shutterfly.com or snapfish.com, but a good friend recommended mixbook.com and we LOVE IT! It is fairly user friendly, but it is also not too plain. Another friend recommended viovio.com, which looks good as well.
Tonight, my family and us (is that proper grammar?) are going to Adoption: Myths & Realities (free for anyone, no registration required) at Irving Bible Church tonight. We also have a couple from our church going as they are thinking about adopting!! It's crazy that not too long ago, we felt very alone in this journey, and now I feel like a lot of my friends are adopting! I know God knew what He was doing all along, I just needed to trust Him! He is pretty amazing, huh? :)
We both went to the doctor and got the OK to be adoptive parents and passed our TB & Drug Tests!! (Were you worried??) :) On a side note, it grosses me (Michelle) out that they injected dead TB into my arm to see if I had it. I felt like I was being used as an incubator for some weird science experiment. (I know, weird thoughts...)
The next step is the home study, which we are just waiting on our case worker to schedule. This is the all-day interview/home inspection. We hope to have our bio book done when she comes so we can give it to her to take back and start showing prospective birth moms!! I will post the link to it once we are closer to being finished. Fire Inspection – passed (4/26)!
Health Inspection – passed (5/2)!
Health Status Forms – TB & Drug Free (5/18)
Home Study – waiting on case worker to schedule
All mattresses for children have plastic cover/protector (just not going to have a crib yet)
Infant cribs meet proper safety requirements
Crib bumpers, soft bedding/comforters, stuffed animals and pillows are not used in crib
Adequate and accessible personal storage space for each child
Each child has a towel and there is adequate soap/hygiene items available for use
All food items stored off the floor
Food is stored appropriately – plastic wrap and foil are not used to seal food containers
Thermometer temperature in refrigerator is at 37 and freezer is at 0 degrees
Cleaning
supplies are stored separately from food and out of the reach of
children – if stored anywhere else, they must be behind a lock
Baby gates are used for stairways and fire place
All windows have screens
Tobacco products are used outside
An emergency kit (water, change of clothes, battery
powered radio, sanitary wipes, blanket and non-perishable food) is
readily accessible, and includes at least 2 working flashlights with
batteries
At least one fire extinguisher on each level of the home
Fire inspection and environmental inspection are posted
All medication is locked behind at least one lock, including refrigerated medication
All psychotropic medications are locked behind two locks
All outdoor areas appear safe and clean
Pool area is enclosed by a 4’ locked fence – at least 2 life-saving devices are accessible
Vehicles used for transporting children are in good repair
All child safety car seats meet requirements and are installed safely
Tools and lawn equipment kept out of reach of children or in locked sheds
Sorry it has been awhile on the updates, getting our house ready for inspection was a lot more work than we thought it would be. However, it was worth it because we passed both inspections with flying colors!!! WHOOP! Now if only we could keep it that clean... It was stressful for us as we had some long nights. Oddly enough, when we open a drawer/cupboard and it snaps back closed because of the child locks, we just bust out in laughter. That may be a sign of being crazy, but I think we are taking all these hoops with a grain of salt.
Anywho, here is what we have left before we officially become a "waiting family":
Fire Inspection – passed (4/26)!
Health Inspection – passed (5/2)!
Health Status Forms – filled out by doctor, not yet scheduled
Medical history
Physical
Drug screen
TB test
Hepatitis B immunization
Home Study – schedule after health status forms are done
All mattresses for children have plastic cover/protector
Infant cribs meet proper safety requirements
Crib bumpers, soft bedding/comforters, stuffed animals and pillows are not used in crib
Adequate and accessible personal storage space for each child
Each child has a towel and there is adequate soap/hygiene items available for use
All food items stored off the floor
Food is stored appropriately – plastic wrap and foil are not used to seal food containers
Thermometer temperature in refrigerator is at 37 and freezer is at 0 degrees
Cleaning supplies are stored separately from food and out of the reach of children – if stored anywhere else, they must be behind a lock
Baby gates are used for stairways and fire place
All windows have screens
Tobacco products are used outside
An emergency kit (water, change of clothes, battery powered radio, sanitary wipes, blanket and non-perishable food) is readily accessible, and includes at least 2 working flashlights with batteries
At least one fire extinguisher on each level of the home
Fire inspection and environmental inspection are posted
All medication is locked behind at least one lock, including refrigerated medication
All psychotropic medications are locked behind two locks
All outdoor areas appear safe and clean
Pool area is enclosed by a 4’ locked fence – at least 2 life-saving devices are accessible
Vehicles used for transporting children are in good repair
All child safety car seats meet requirements and are installed safely
Tools and lawn equipment kept out of reach of children or in locked sheds
Thermometers in refrigerator and freezer
No trampolines
Getting closer - I think can see the light! Please keep us in your prayers, as we try to finish up the last few hoops, our calendars are filling up and slowing up down. We need to make sure we keep our priorities straight!
Here is a sneak peek at our photo book so far: (only have the first few pages done, but will be working on it as summer nears!)
This week (April 22 - 28) is National Infertility Awareness Week. Since this disease has personally affected us, I thought it would be good to advocate awareness and education. I have noticed since we found out, and in turn told friends and family, relationships have been... different. I think for people not affected by infertility, they don't know what to say - I get that. Or when they do find something to say, they haven't quite thought it through and can hurt the feelings of their friends and family - a reason why I believe many couples keep mum about it. I know for me personally, it is not something I want to have tattooed to my forehead, but I also don't want it to become something I am shameful of. Yes, this disease sucks, but I would like to educate everyone about it so those who have it can find treatments or peace and those who don't can be a comfort to their friends and family affected.
RESOLVE (the National Infertility Association) has a lot of good information out there, which is where I got the following from. I will include what I believe is important, but also reference the website if you want more information.
Infertility is a disease that results in the abnormal functioning
of the male or female reproductive system. Both the American Society
for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM), World Health Organization (WHO) and
the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recognize
infertility as a disease.
Infertility is defined as the inability to conceive after one
year of unprotected intercourse (six months if the woman is over age
35) or the inability to carry a pregnancy to live birth.
Infertility affects 7.3 million people in the U.S. This figure
represents 12% of women of childbearing age, or 1 in 8 couples. (2002
National Survey of Family Growth)
Approximately one-third of infertility is attributed to the female
partner, one-third attributed to the male partner and one-third is
caused by a combination of problems in both partners or, is
unexplained. (http://www.asrm.org/)
Approximately 44% of women with infertility have sought medical
assistance. Of those, approximately 65%
give birth. (Infertility As A Covered Benefit, William M. Mercer, 1997)
Don't Tell Them to Relax Infertility is a diagnosable medical problem - relaxation itself does not cure medical infertility. Besides, telling someone to relax (in just about any situation) just adds on the pressure and makes relaxation almost impossible!
Don't Minimize the Problem Comments like, "Just enjoy being able to sleep late . . . .travel . .
etc.," do not offer comfort. Instead, these comments make infertile
people feel like you are minimizing their pain. You wouldn't tell
somebody whose parent just died to be thankful that he no longer has to
buy Father's Day or Mother's Day cards.In the same vein, being able to sleep late or travel does not
provide comfort to somebody who desperately wants a child.
Don't Say There Are Worse Things That Could Happen Along the same lines, don't tell your friend that there are worse things
that she could be going through. Who is the final authority on what is
the "worst" thing that could happen to someone? Is it going through a
divorce? Watching a loved one die? Losing a job?
Don't Say They Aren't Meant to Be Parents How incredibly insensitive to imply that someone would be such a bad mother
that God felt the need to divinely sterilize them. Even if you
aren't religious, the "maybe it's not meant to be" comments are not
comforting. Infertility is a medical condition, not a punishment from
God or Mother Nature.
Don't Ask Why They Aren't Trying IVF People ask, "Why don't you just try IVF?" in the same casual
tone they would use to ask, "Why don't you try shopping at another
store?" It is truly a personal decision between husband, wife and nobody else.
Don't Be Crude It is sad that this paragraph even needs to be included, but some of
you need to hear this - Don't make crude jokes about your friend's
vulnerable position. Crude comments like "I'll donate the sperm" or
"You can have my little devil" are not
funny, and they only irritate your friends (and we might take you up on it!)
Don't Complain About Your Pregnancy I
understand that when you are pregnant, your hormones
are going crazy and you experience a lot of discomfort, such as
queasiness, stretch marks, and fatigue. You have every right to vent
about the discomforts to any one else in your life, but don't put your
infertile friend in the position of comforting you.Your infertile friend would give anything to experience the
discomforts you are enduring because those discomforts come from a baby
growing inside of you. Stay
sensitive to your infertile friend's emotions, and give her the leeway
that she needs to be happy for you while she cries for herself. The fact that she is
willing to endure such pain in order to celebrate your new baby with you
speaks volumes about how much your friendship means to her.
Don't Treat Them Like They Are Ignorant Let's face it-no one can fully appreciate the responsibilities
involved in parenting until they are, themselves, parents.
If anything, people who have been
trying to become pregnant longer have had more time to think about those
responsibilities. They have also probably been around lots of babies as
their friends started their families. Perhaps part of what fuels this perception is that infertile couples
have a longer time to "dream" about what being a parent will be like.
Like every other couple, we have our fantasies - they are some
of the few parent-to-be perks that we have so let us have them. You can
give us your knowing looks when we discover the truth later.
Don't Gossip About Your Friend's Condition Gossiping about infertility is not usually done in a malicious
manner. The gossipers are usually well-meaning people who are only
trying to find out more about infertility so they can help their loved
ones. Regardless of why you are sharing this information with someone else,
it hurts and embarrasses your friend to find out that Madge the bank
teller knows all about your journey. Respect your friend's privacy,
and don't share any information that your friend hasn't authorized.
Don't Push Adoption (Yet) Adoption is a wonderful way for infertile people to become parents. However, the
couple needs to work through many issues before they will be ready to
make an adoption decision. Before they can make the decision to love a
"stranger's baby," they must first grieve the loss of that baby with
Daddy's eyes and Mommy's nose. Adoption social workers recognize the
importance of the grieving process. My husband and I have noticed that adoption agencies don't ask "Why
do you want to adopt a baby?" but rather "Have you
grieved the loss of your biological child yet?" Our social worker
emphasized how important it is to shut one door before you open another. You do, indeed, need to grieve this loss before you are ready to
start the adoption process. The adoption process is very long and
expensive, and it is not an easy road. So, the couple needs to be very
sure that they can let go of the hope of a biological child and that
they can love an adopted baby.
We just got through the "do not say/do" - so, what can you say to your infertile friends? Unless you say "I am
giving you this baby," there is nothing you can say that will erase
their pain. It isn't your job to
erase their pain, but there is a lot you can do to lesson the load.
Here are a few ideas:
Let Them Know That You Care The best thing you can do is let your infertile friends know that you
care. Send them cards. Let them cry on your shoulder. Let them know you are praying for them. Offer the same
support you would offer a friend who has lost a loved one. Just knowing
they can count on you to be there for them lightens the load and lets
them know that they aren't going through this alone.
Remember Them on Mother's Day Mother's Day is an incredibly painful
time for infertile women. You cannot get away from it - There are ads on
the TV, posters at the stores, church sermons devoted to celebrating
motherhood, and all of the plans for celebrating with your own mother
and mother-in-law.Remember your infertile friends on Mother's Day, and send them
a card to let them know you are thinking of them. They will appreciate
knowing that you haven't "forgotten" them.
Support Their Decision to Stop Treatments No couple can endure infertility treatments forever - at some point,
they will stop. This is an agonizing decision to make, and it involves
even more grief. Even if the couple chooses to adopt a baby, they must
still first grieve the loss of that biological baby. Once the couple has made the decision to stop treatments, support
their decision. Don't encourage them to try again, and don't discourage
them from adopting, if that is their choice.
What You Can Do Don’t ignore opportunities to talk about infertility. Do you blog?
Tweet? Teach a health class? Have a book group? Take advantage of
opportunities in your daily life to share information about or bring
attention to the cause of infertility. Don’t ignore legislation affecting infertility patients.
Several pending and existing laws encroach upon the rights of the
infertile to freely build their families. Help change policy and protect
your rights by writing to your representative. Don’t ignore infertility support available. Infertility is a lonely road, but no one has to travel it alone. Join an online infertility forum or local support group to find a warm, welcoming environment. Don’t ignore people struggling with infertility. Reach out to friends or family members struggling with infertility. Ask how you can best support them in their journey. Don’t ignore the impact of making a donation. Every cent donated donated helps bring needed programs and services to women and men with infertility. Sign up for the Walk of Hope or create your own fundraising event in your location. Don’t ignore family building alternatives. You can build your family through many paths. During this week, open your mind to options that you had not previously considered. Don’t ignore your own strength. If you’re engaged
in the fight against infertility, take a moment to recognize your
courage and determination, as well as that of the sisters and brothers
fighting alongside you.
We are on our last few steps of the process: fire
inspection, health inspections, health status forms turned in and home study
(followed by “Dear Expectant Mother” letter and our profile book). Hopefully after those are done and approved,
we will officially be a “Waiting Family”!!
I look back at it all and the first year was long and hard since it
seemed hopeless. However, once we got in
a program, time has just been flying by!!
We have learned a lot even in the small time we have been at it –
patience, trust, grace, etc… Here is our
currently “to-do” list to get ready for these inspections, which will hopefully
get done by the end of May!
Fire Inspection – not yet scheduled
At least 2 functional smoke detectors – located in halls, outside each bedroom and
at least one on each level of the home
No overloaded outlets
Carbon monoxide detector (due to the gas
fireplace)
No flammable liquids stored near a heat source
Portable/space heaters have covers
Screened fireplace
At least two unlocked exits to the outside from
the home
Electrical wiring system appears in good repair
Electrical outlets have child-proof covers or
are safety outlets
Fuses/circuit breakers in fuse box appear in
good operating condition
Cords for electrical appliances and lighting
fixtures appear in good operating condition
Extension cords are stored properly
Gas appliances (heaters, stoves, water heaters)
have metal tubing and metal connections
Central heating system is periodically inspected
by qualified inspector
Combustibles are stored or placed well away from
any stove, heater or fireplace
All lighters and matched are kept out of the
reach of children
Flammable liquids are stored in safety cans and
kept away from heat and children
Paint is kept is tightly closed, metal
containers
The premises are free of rubbish - especially the
attic, garage and basement
Trash is burned in an area away from the
children
There is an operable 5-pound dry chemical fire
extinguisher available for use in the kitchen
Fire extinguisher is serviced after each use and
checked for proper weight at least one time each year
Family has an evacuation plan for emergencies
Fire drills are practiced regularly
There is a method available to alert family to a
fire (alarm, bell, etc.)
Environmental Health Inspection – not yet scheduled
Home and grounds are kept clean and free of
hazards to children
Kitchen and all food preparation, storage, and
serving areas are kept clean
Perishable food is refrigerated or safely stored
in other ways
Home has an adequate supply of water that meets
the standards for drinking water of the Texas Department of Health
Home has an adequate, safe sewage disposal
system
Plumbing appears to be in good working condition
Home has hot and cold running water
There is at least one toilet, lavatory, and
bathtub/shower inside the home
Bathtubs are kept clean
Soap and toilet paper are available in the
bathrooms at all times
Each child has a clean towel available, or paper
towels are available
Garbage is removed at least one time per week
Garbage is kept in metal or plastic containers
with tight fitting lids in an area away from children
The home is kept free from insects, mice and
rats
The yard is kept free from garbage and trash
The house is adequately ventilated and free from
bad odors
Windows and outside doors kept open for ventilation
are screened
Cleaning supplies, insect spray, medicines, and
other materials that can harm young children are kept where children under the
age of 8, and children for whom these items might present an unusual danger,
cannot reach them
Electric fans are securely mounted where
children under the age of 8, or children whom these items might present an
unusual danger, cannot reach them, or have guards which keep children from touching
the blades
Outdoor steps are not slippery
Porches, railings, playhouses, and other wooden
structures do not have splinters
Indoor floors and steps are not slippery, and
are kept dry when children are using them
Indoor wood surfaces and objects do not have
splinters
Glass doors are marked at the child’s eye level
to prevent accidents
Home is clean and well maintained
Fence around swimming pool
Proximity of home to lake or other waterways?
Fenced play yard
Yard is free of hazards to children
Yard must drain – no standing water
Firearms must be stored separate from ammunition
– both is locked containers
Premise must be free of debris
All chemicals out of the reach of children
Health Status Forms – filled out by doctor, not yet scheduled
Medical history
Physical
Drug screen
TB test
Hepatitis B immunization
Home Study – schedule after fire and health inspections pass
and health status forms done
All mattresses for children have plastic
cover/protector
Infant cribs meet proper safety requirements
Crib bumpers, soft bedding/comforters, stuffed
animals and pillows are not used in crib
Adequate and accessible personal storage space
for each child
Each child has a towel and there is adequate
soap/hygiene items available for use
All food items stored off the floor
Food is stored appropriately – plastic wrap and
foil are not used to seal food containers
Thermometer temperature in refrigerator is at 37
and freezer is at 0 degrees
Cleaning supplies are stored separately from
food and out of the reach of children – if stored anywhere else, they must be
behind a lock
Baby gates are used for stairways and fire place
All windows have screens
Tobacco products are used outside
An emergency kit (water, change of clothes, battery
powered radio, sanitary wipes, blanket and non-perishable food) is readily
accessible, and includes at least 2 working flashlights with batteries
At least one fire extinguisher on each level of
the home
Fire inspection and environmental inspection are
posted
All medication is locked behind at least one
lock, including refrigerated medication
All psychotropic medications are locked behind
two locks
All outdoor areas appear safe and clean
Pool area is enclosed by a 4’ locked fence – at least
2 life-saving devices are accessible
Vehicles used for transporting children are in
good repair
All child safety car seats meet requirements and
are installed safely
Tools and lawn equipment kept out of reach of
children or in locked sheds
Thermometers in refrigerator and freezer
No trampolines
It is a fairly daunting list to be done in about a month - so if we seem stressed, you now know why! Please keep us in your prayers as we work through this together and keep our sanity and our jobs!
Here is the outline of what we learned/talked about last
Saturday at our Adoption Seminar!
Legal Issues: Legal Terms, Adoption Law, Family
Medical Leave Act (FMLA), Multi Ethnic Placement Act, and Indian Child Welfare
Act (ICWA)
Preparing for Adoption: Fertility Issues,
Birthparents, Adoption is a Lifelong process
Adoptive Parent Speakers: The Apperleys (great "real life" adoption story!)
The Adoption Process: Modes of Adoption, Home
Study Process, Profiles & Matches, Placement Packet and Finalization
Grief and Loss: Managing Grief & Loss...
SIDS/Shaken Baby Syndrome: How to prevent...
It was a lot of information, but a good day nonetheless.The next thing for us is to get our fire
inspection, environmental inspection and then our homestudy, so our free time
is consumed by getting rid of stuff and cleaning, cleaning, CLEANING! :)Will post our new “to-do” list soon.
Got the letter in the mail - our application is officially approved! :) Next Saturday, we will be attending an all-day seminar to find out what the next steps are! Excited!!! It feels good to be accepted/approved!
On a side note, cleaned up the house a little bit today to start getting ready for the homestudy - even took some trash to the dump! Man, that place is STINKY!
God has really shown His love for us through others recently. We have received quite a few donations over the past couple weeks - even from complete strangers! Thank you to EVERYONE for all the love! We have been so blessed by the encouragement that everyone's support brings and it keeps us going sometimes in the hard waiting process. This child has already been prayed for and loved on by so many and we are so excited about what else God has in store!
We mailed off our big packet to TBH today - no turning back now, haha. It feels great to have accomplished so much over the last month and a half! We celebrated by going to the park and getting yogurt! :) (To see our to-do list, look at the previous post(s).)
Our next step is a seminar at TBH; probably going over the next steps in the process. My guess, is it will be talking about the home study(s) and how to prepare for that. We have started getting ready, but it will be another to-do list in itself. Our house is soo not organized and nothing is baby ready - yet! I might be asking you moms to bring over your little ones and show me what is baby proofed and what is not (just a fair warning!).
Thank you for all the support, prayers and kind words so far - they are very uplifting!!
We are getting closer to finishing our checklist (and the due date too!). I (Michelle) finally finished The Connected Child (I strongly recommend it to any parent - adoptive or bio) and wrote my book report! (Of course, I took the day off today to do it!) Now we each have to finish and write our last book report, that's about all that is left! Probably a good thing since our due date is about a week away! Good thing I have Spring Break next week!!
Due by March 17th:
filled out application
copy of birth certificates
copy of driver's licenses
copy of marriage license
diagram of house showing exits and room sizes
copy of current auto insurance
copy of current homeowner's insurance
last 2 years of tax returns
vaccines up-to-date on dogs
recent credit reports
application fee
child & infant first aid & cpr certification
bought adoption books
read two adoption books - John (one down, one to go)
write a summary for each book - John (one down, one to go)
read two adoption books - Michelle (one down, one to go)
write a summary for each book - Michelle (one down, one to go)
copy of social security cards
copy of diplomas/degrees
background check
fingerprinting (should I be wearing gloves everywhere?)
filled out all forms (most)
We had another "Waiting Families" meeting on Saturday night. The host family's son got ill, so be saying a prayer for them. Got to hang out with the others at a local Starbucks for Q&A and fellowship. I am so excited to be finding so many couples going through adoption together - it really lifts my spirits and hopes about this whole process. :) I truly feel God's work in this!
