Saturday, December 31, 2011

New Year, New Hope

We are very excited about the New Year as we have been invited to orientation from TBH in January!  We are hopeful about actually starting the process and have been busy reading books and brainstorming ways to get ready for the adventure to begin.  Hopefully, our posts from now on will be more informative about the adoption process. 

Having a good support group is very important to us as we start this process.  We are looking into different groups in the area to get advice from people who have been in our shoes and then pass down the advice once we become "experts."  Here are some groups or churches we have found with support groups either for infertility and/or adoption:

RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association

Tapestry: Adoption & Foster Care Ministry at Irving Bible Church

DFW Alliance of Adoption & Orphan Care Ministries
This website has a list of the churches in the area with Adoption/Foster Care Ministries.


Tapestry at Watermark

There is also a Foster-Adoption Expo on Saturday, February 4th starting at 9am.  Follow the link for more information.

Here's to a New Year filled with New Hopes, Adventures and Beginnings! 

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Puzzle Fundraiser

As some of you know either through talking to us or our Christmas letter, we are doing a puzzle fundraiser to help bring Baby Jackson home.  For more information about it, either click the "Puzzle" tab above or click here.  We thank everyone for their love, support and prayers.  Your encouragement really means a lot! 
 MERRY CHRISTMAS and GOD BLESS!

           

Sunday, November 27, 2011

2011 Tapestry Conference

You can get the Adoption & Foster Care Conference materials by clicking this link.


The sessions we went to were:

Adoption: Myths and Realities

Keys to Success for Healthy Adoptive & Foster Families - Slideshow & Notes

Opening Up About Open Adoption - Slideshow, Benefits, Identity & Openness and Openness & Development

Making Sense of the Cost of Adoption

We definitely enjoyed and learned a lot from this conference. We are also glad our friends Darren and Jamie came with us! Hopefully we can stay connected to this ministry as we will be needing advice from those who have walked this path before ue!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Blog Post

Blog post from a woman who struggled with IF. Always good to know you are not alone!
http://joannagoddard.blogspot.com/2011/10/motherhood-mondays-what-if-you-cant.html#more

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Brick walls...

The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough. They are there to stop the other people! - Randy Pausch

So, the agency we have been on the waiting list to go to orientation for the last 5 months is moving back its enrollment until January. This means even more waiting, or a change of game plan. We have decided to keep them in our back pocket, but to attack this adventure more head on. So, we created a website and are going to look into Private Party Adoption - where you try it without an agency. If you know of anyone, please pass on our webpage:
https://sites.google.com/site/jamjacksonfamily

We are also opening up to international adoption if we can find one that is not too expensive and doesn't require too much time off; we've got to keep our jobs to pay for the adoption, right?

So, we are asking for prayers and support through this time. I know God can see the end and it is for His glory!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

For those who wait

Another day, another waiting game
A little different but it's still the same
I am here, but where's the one I'm longing for?
I'm having trouble feeling all alone
Will my heart ever find a home?
I want to hope but sometimes I just don't know
I know I'm not the only one

So we sing a lullaby to the lonely hearts tonight
Let it set your heart on fire, let it set you free
When you're fighting to believe
In a love that you can't see
Just know there is a purpose
For those who wait

I want to open up my eyes
I know that all I need is time
I'm growing stronger every single day
God, I'm going to lean into You now
Letting go of all my fear and doubt
I can't do this on my own so I'll give You control
I know I’m not the only one

The pressure makes us stronger
The struggle makes us hunger
The hard lessons make the difference
The pressure makes us stronger
The struggle makes us hunger
The hard lessons make the difference
And the difference makes it worth it

~Fireflight

Monday, September 19, 2011

Dora the Explorer

We have been going to Collin College every Tuesday and Thursday night for 2.5 hours to take Spanish I. We want our child(ren) to be bilingual, so we have to be too! It is pretty tough! If we hadn't already had 3 years of Spanish in high school, we would be sunk! Anywho, here is the list of words for tomorrow's quiz! See how well you can do!

Monday, August 15, 2011

FREE Adoption Conference

We are registered for a FREE adoption conference, hosted by the Irving Bible Church's Tapestry Ministry. The conference is from 8:45 - 3:30 on October 29th. More details can be found here if you want to come!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

The car is paid off!!!

BOOYAH!

Sorry to disappoint you Mr. Banker...
Not!

-J

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The big IF...

The big IF is infertility. If you are going down the road of adoption due to infertility, know that there needs to be some grieving. I didn't put much thought to this since I knew we would end up with a baby eventually and thought that was all I was grieving about. However, I have joined an online support group (as I can't find ANY nearby) and learned that it's not that easy. One woman posted this from a book she is reading:

"... there are multiple losses which are a consequence of permanent infertility: 1) control over many aspects of life; 2) individual genetic continuity linking past and future; 3) the joint conception of a child with one's life partner; 4) the physical satisfactions of pregnancy and birth; 5) the emotional gratifications of pregnancy and birth; and 6) the opportunity to parent."

The only one of these that adoption "cures" is the 6th one, opportunity to parent. Alas, you never know when/if that is coming. So my advice to you in the same boat as us is to find friends, family members, online support, counseling, whatever to help you through this. You want to be emotionally ready for when your future baby does come. Also, keeping busy and your eye on the prize always helps. :)

~ m ~

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

A little encouragement

While John may write the long, informative post about the agencies; I will provide a quote of encouragement I just came across. Hopefully, it will continue to encourage us and others who venture down this same path.

"No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I won’t let him down."

~ m ~

Monday, June 27, 2011

Agency Info

We made it back from our trip yesterday - was hoping to make a post beforehand but things were hectic. Anyway, someone wise suggested that we take one more big vacation before babytime, so we did, and it was a blast! Good to be home now too. Michelle will probably post pictures to facebook soon as they get sorted out (several hundred).


Today's post is mostly for reference for others that are or will be looking for adoption agencies. Thought I would just write a little about each agency describing what we found.

It's hard to beat Google when searching for agencies, but there tons to sift through unless you can get very specific. The most thorough list I found was here: http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/adoption_and_foster_care/adoption_partners/private.asp#3
although it is not complete. Our search criteria narrowed things down considerably: Private domestic infant adoption. We are also interested agencies that share our faith, which many in Texas do.

In general, here are the trends we noticed:
- Most agencies are pushing for open adoptions (terms will be described more in later posts), meaning much interaction with the birth parents. However, each agency defines "open" differently in terms of amount and duration.
- Staff size seems to drive both annual placements and fees. Larger companies place more children each year and consequently have more overhead.
- Private infant adoption usually has the highest costs associated compared to other types of adoption, despite the non-profit aspect. Besides legal and social worker, and several misc fees, many of these agencies take care of the birth mothers. So not just medical costs, but sometimes providing housing and other services as well. The agencies are an outreach to mothers just as much as children.
- Aside from having a home study (state mandated), most agencies require adoptive parents read some books from a reading list. Despite being about adoption they are mostly just good parenting advice.

The agencies, in no particular order:
- Covenant Kids: Unfortunately not currently doing infant adoption, although have before, and maybe will again. Very faith-oriented. Have an office in Plano. Primarily foster agency right now.
- Christian Homes & Family Services: Based out of Abilene: Average 40 placements per year. Been in business for 50 years. Experience with adoptive families described as "intimate." Not sure exactly what that means, but they did seem very caring on the phone. Unfortunately their fee structure is prohibitive: Basically 16k + 14% gross annual income. This is up there with Gladney.
- Inheritance: Witchita Falls. > 17k. This was not one of top choices as they did not seem very welcoming. Do not have much more info, so still a backup.
- Generations: Waco. Flat 17.5k + case worker mileage. Average 9 month turnaround. 15-20 placements/year. Very faith-oriented. Pray with families. Only drawback is they expect what I call wide-open relationships: visitations with the birth parents continue after placement and for 18 years!
- Texas Baptist Home: Waxahachie (sp?). Up to 20k. Do ~10 placements/year. Openness of relationship with birth parents is negotiable. Seem to be genuinely concerned about all parties.
- Buckner: Dallas. 25k + some extra legal fees. Not sure of volume, but 2nd largest. However, the private infant program fills up fast. They also have many international programs. As an organization their faith seems to be lip service, but maybe the individuals are different.

We chose to pursue the last two, and as mentioned before, our foot is in the door of Texas Baptist. Another thing to note is that the reported average 9-18month waiting time is measured from the time of application submission. Waiting to be invited to an orientation adds more months depending on the size of the agency. Being young allegedly helps though, as agencies and birth mothers prefer younger couples. Hopefully this will give us an edge.

Some agencies have a lot of information on their website if you dig for it. Otherwise, they are glad to send an information packet with a simple phone call.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Got a foot in the door!

Just talked to TBH on Monday - They are waiting for 2 or 3 more completed adoptions then will send out invitations for the next orientation session...and we are on the list : ) I estimate a few months, as they typically only do ~10/year.
Buckner was also on our list but is not even accepting applications till Dec. I will post info on all the agencies we looked at shortly.
-J
p.s. If you are new to the site, click in the Blog Archive to the right to see previous posts.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Out of Order

Dearest Friends and Family,

As some of you know by now, we are going to be starting the process of adopting an infant in the near future. For some, this is a big surprise; while for us, we had this plan all along… just in a different order. Our plan was to have 1 or 2 children biologically and then start adoption. However, it has become clear that God has a different agenda.

We have started this blog to keep everyone informed about the process and chronicle our adventure for others who may be taking this journey too.

The most common question we have gotten since deciding this was our calling is “why?” It is pretty simple: we want to start a family. While other routes could possibly give us a biological child (and we are still allowing for that), we feel God has put this on our hearts – and for a while now. Our first experience like adoption was probably when we started fostering dogs. We enjoyed that – though quickly learned it was hard to not get attached to something knowing it would find its forever home soon. Then, we took a trip to Ecuador. This taught us that we could love other children of God – regardless of where they came from. So, when it was evident that things weren’t happening according to our original plan, we both knew without hesitation which path to take next.

Another common question is “how can we help?” All we ask is for your support and prayers. Feel free to check back often as we update the blog.

God Bless,
John and Michelle

Monday, March 7, 2011

James 1:17

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.