The big IF is infertility. If you are going down the road of adoption due to infertility, know that there needs to be some grieving. I didn't put much thought to this since I knew we would end up with a baby eventually and thought that was all I was grieving about. However, I have joined an online support group (as I can't find ANY nearby) and learned that it's not that easy. One woman posted this from a book she is reading:
"... there are multiple losses which are a consequence of permanent infertility: 1) control over many aspects of life; 2) individual genetic continuity linking past and future; 3) the joint conception of a child with one's life partner; 4) the physical satisfactions of pregnancy and birth; 5) the emotional gratifications of pregnancy and birth; and 6) the opportunity to parent."
The only one of these that adoption "cures" is the 6th one, opportunity to parent. Alas, you never know when/if that is coming. So my advice to you in the same boat as us is to find friends, family members, online support, counseling, whatever to help you through this. You want to be emotionally ready for when your future baby does come. Also, keeping busy and your eye on the prize always helps. :)
~ m ~
The Root of the Problem
3 years ago
